The price of vanity

Here's a tip, ladies: keep up with the waxing! Not having an income, and not having worn a bathing suit since well before #1's birth, I have been very lax with the bikini waxes. In fact, it has been nearly a year since my last one. We're going on vacation this week, and the hotel has a pool, so here was an excellent excuse to get back into the habit. That and I am vain enough to want to be presentable during childbirth (because I'm sure that that is the only thing my midwife will think about). OOOOOOOWWWWWWWW! Getting a bikini wax after not having one for a while is painful, and can lead to some bleeding. Now add in six months of pregnancy. My poor, violated skin is still slightly swollen, and there isn't really anything I can do about it. Maybe sitting on some ice. Anyway, my vanity is such that I still think it was worth it, but I also made another appointment in four weeks, because this time I will not let things go for so long.

Oh, and I don't mind if you're laughing at me, I am too, even through the pain.

Long weekend?

Okay, not really a good excuse, just that I haven't had a lot to say and I've been tuckered out! But, my husband and I made a lot of progress on our house projects this weekend, I think the biggest one being that we bought a ton of furniture today: all new bedroom furniture for #1's room (a big-boy bed, I'm a little sad about that) and a new couch for our entertainment room. Got to love the Memorial Day sales! They'll be arriving in 4-6 weeks, which gives us time to get the carpets cleaned and windows washed (it's a two story house, we pay someone for this-inside & out! [we do everything else ourselves!!]) before setting up the new stuff. I'm partially excited and partially terrified by how much money we just spent (even though we did have it saved for this very purpose, I still hate spending money on big stuff). Overall, however, I'm feeling much better about how much we've gotten done now. Only about ten weeks left!!

Not tonight

I'm wiped out. My husband was on another work trip (fortunately, he got sick this afternoon and made it home before eight tonight!) and Ivan the Terrible was here in full force. And last night's good idea for a dessert: real hot chocolate with skim milk ended up having just enough caffeine and sugar to keep me up past midnight. So no bon mots from me tonight. Tomorrow is another day!

Natural Birth conquers another site!

Since my avatar is the same, I'm probably not revealing too much to say I'm a huge fan of the Nest & the Bump (outgrowths of the uber-popular website the Knot). I've met a lot of wonderful women on the boards, many of whom I've actually met in real life, and many, many more that I hope to one day. Anyway, as of today, there is finally a Natural Birth board. I am so very, very excited! It is yet another outlet for women who want to find out about, talk about, encourage and commiserate over going the route that few in this country do (seriously, about 90% of births in this country are medicated, CRAZY!!!). I hope that as someone who has already gone through this, I can be of help to the first-timers. And if any of them are visiting my blog for the first time today, I say welcome here, too!

(and for those of you who haven't ever been on the Nest or the Bump, I say give it a try if you like having an internet support group for life in general)

Sleep conundrum

I am exhausted. #1 has been thankfully sleeping through the night on a regular basis again and sleeping past seven in the morning, and I am still exhausted. I was taking naps nearly every day, but I then it was taking me forever to fall asleep at night. Like up to two hours. Which kind of negates the nap. So I'm back to skipping naps, although I still take it easy in the afternoon while my son takes his. I function a little better in the evenings with the nap, but since I don't seem to actually get any more sleep overall, I'd rather have the free time in the afternoon. Fortunately, my next midwife appointment includes some bloodwork to determine if maybe I'm deficient in D or iron. It would be kind of nice if it were that simple. In the mean time, my husband is on work travel. Again. (but for the last time until after birth at least)

I feel pretty!

Or at least I did for the afternoon. I shaved, did full make-up, did my hair, put on a lovely (pink) outfit, and met a friend for formal afternoon tea and a chick flick. Then I came home, pulled my hair back, and put my regular clothes back on. I love, love, love being a stay at home mom. I love being pregnant and that I'm creating another life inside of me. But, oh, I do miss dressing up on a regular basis (even if just for work). My husband and I in general are homebodies (well, we're frugal, and it's easier to be frugal if you stay at home), so it's not like I had a wild social life before settling down with child(ren). But we did at least get really dressed up a few times a year for an "event". Where we live now doesn't really have a lot of "dress-up" events and I sorely miss them. I'm an anachronism and would be perfectly happy to have to "dress" for dinner every night (you know, one that was prepared by the cook and served by the maids/butler). But then again, the grass is always greener. Anyway, it was nice to have my afternoon fantasy, be a girly girl and have a break. And I can't wait until my children are old enough to share the experience with them.

Drop-side cribs to be banned by end of year

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/21/AR2010052103254.html

We bought a convertible crib for #1 and I had never considered a drop-side one. Anything that has moving parts around an infant makes me nervous. I guess I was right in that worry. 32 infants have died since 2000 directly from the cribs, which can pose a strangulation or suffocation hazard. If you already have one, see if you can take it back (if it's older, it may have been recalled anyway). If you haven't bought a crib yet, then make sure to not get one with moving parts. And if you're short and are worried about being able to reach your baby, there are cribs that are lower to the ground :).

Can't bend over anymore

One of the most difficult things about this pregnancy is having a toddler. Things that I avoided last time I cannot this time around. Like bending over. I'm trying to limit it as much as possible, but really, I can't squat for everything (plus squatting always requires a readjustment of pants afterward). The worst is that my angelic (hahahaha!) twenty-month-old fully realizes that Mommy is impaired, and is taking full advantage of that. I cannot always chase him around his room every time I need to change his diaper, so unfortunately, that results in me sitting down and waiting for him to come over to me when he's good and ready. Not the type of discipline I really wanted. Sigh. Even simple things like putting groceries away result in lasting pain. At least for laundry I've learned to prop up the laundry basket while I'm putting things into the washer for less bending.

Another issue is that my babygirl is sitting really, really low. Most people think it's an old wives tale that boys are high and girls are low, but both of my babies have been obviously one or the other (with my son, older women used to come up to me at the store or wherever and tell me I was having a boy, regardless of whether I actually wanted to know this, which I didn't). It means that I have to move differently than I did with #1. I can't explain it, exactly, it's just very different. And a lot more pressure on my cervix. Which will happen anyway. But, at least for me, it has held true that every pregnancy is different.

Scared after watching a birth(?)

An on-line community that I take part in had a post from one of the pregnant women today. She had seen a birth in her birthing class last night and was now terrified. Yes, the first time (or first several times) you see that birth it can be really traumatic. Especially depending on the video (seeing the women in labor screaming first doesn't help). But, I highly, highly recommend getting over this by watching more, and more, and more births. Watching until it's no longer shocking and seems commonplace. It's totally not the same as being there for a birth (particularly your own), but the more normal it seems, the less it will shock you when it's your turn, too. This was one of the many, many things I loved about my Bradley class, we watched a TON of births. Natural births. And honestly, watching a medicated birth kind of freaks me out more. And if you want nightmares, watch a c-section. I wish they made all women watch those as well as a natural birth in those "education" classes that hospitals run.

The only birth movies that I've seen that Netflix has are The Business of Being Born which is more about the industry than about births and doesn't have the best birthing examples, and Orgasmic Birth which I just watched two weeks ago and is fantastic. Lots of beautiful, natural births. Home births, hospital births, supportive, loving births (and no crotch shots, so less disturbing for the uninitiated). There is also the medicated birth, but don't worry, it's not balanced at all. I'd love to hear of more if anyone has any suggestions in the comments.

And as a parting thought: WHO (World Health Organization) recommends a c-section rate of about 10%, which means that 90% of women can have healthy, unmedicated births without any problems. It's your body, and your body knows what it's doing.

Embarassing stuff that WILL happen

First, let's talk about wet sneezes. No, I don't mean when you spray saliva and mucus everywhere, I'm talking about when the sneeze causes you to lose control of your bladder for a moment. Even if you are the Kegel queen, they can still happen toward the end when you've got a 6,7,8 lb baby pushing his/her head down on your bladder. There is only one thing that you can do to have minimal damage: pressure in the opposite direction (ie: mainly sitting down). If you can, try to sit, or at least cross your legs if you're standing (like in an elevator), this can help a lot. The other thing is to always wear a pantiliner. While plenty of pregnancy books will advocate letting as much air circulation as possible, and only cotton underwear, I've got to admit, I'd rather save my clothes/furniture/rug. Plus, I'm already so wet from discarge that I really can't go without. One of my favorite quotes is from the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy saying it's like a tropical rainforest between your legs. Truer words were never writ.

Second, we've got hemorroids. Even if you avoid them during your pregnancy because you're great about getting enough fiber and being regular, there's a very good chance you will get them during labor because of all that fantastic pushing you will do. They're gross, mildly uncomfortable and can be itchy. So, add the hemorroids from my first pregnancy (which, by the way, can apparently be taken care of with an easy laser procedure that nobody told me about until I was pregnant again) with my all-to-frequent intenstinal distress and my poor bottom is a mess. One of my midwives suggested diaper balm. Not a bad idea, but my son's makes his bottom smell like lavender. A treat when changing his diapers, but not what I wanted for me. So I'm using belly balm. Oh, my, goodness, it is working so well to soothe! But in general, if it's good enough for baby's bottom, it should be good enough for yours as well.

My arms are too short!

Washing dishes this evening, I was incredibly uncomfortable. It took me a minute to realize it was because I was standing about five feet from the sink and reaching. Yep, the belly is big enough that I can no longer stand close to things. Fortunately, I have long arms, unfortunately, I still have a big belly. This will get much worse before it gets better. I think my husband was doing all clean-up at this point last time around. Oh, well, I'll deal. Oh, and the belly is also regularly getting wet (when dish-washing) and food on it. Although sometimes I'll attribute that to my son, not me. Not that I can blame him for smearing me with food, since my lap is increasingly getting smaller and smaller (although he still hasn't noticed that he gets kicked on a regular basis).

Cankles update: as long as I stay off of my feet, they're not as bad. Too bad that doesn't happen frequently. I also suspect that I have low blood pressure like last time. Which means a suggestion of consuming more salt. Which doesn't help much with the swelling, but I'd rather have swollen ankles than faint!

Best countries to be a mother?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/18/health/18glob.html?ref=health

Few surprises here: Norway is the best, Afghanistan is the worst and the US is 28th out of the 160 countries surveyed. Actually, I was surprised that we were so high. The rankings were determined based on maternal health (how many mothers died due to childbirth, but not necessarily in childbirth) and maternity benefits, amongst others. We have a ridiculously high maternal death rate in this country, partially due to the lack of prenatal healthcare for poor women. We are below all of the countries of Western Europe. We also have some of the worst maternity benefits in the world. Heck, Cuba tends to do better than we do (although the article did not mention where we are ranked in relation to Cuba) due to their support of training enough doctors. What can you do about this? Be an educated health care consumer, take care of yourself, and use a midwife instead of an ob.

My mother's day

Since my husband was gone last week, I finally got my mother's day today. It was pretty good. Omelet for breakfast, the New York Times print edition, and a day to spend on the couch reading. I'm even still in my bathrobe. This will probably be the last day like this for at least another year (if not two), so I just soaked up the relaxation. And husband even made an appointment for me to get a facial and massage next week. Back to reality tomorrow.

Projects done??

I've written extensively about this but, I'll do it again anyway: get as much stuff done as soon as possible so that you have some time to relax before baby comes. Obviously nearly everyone will need to get a baby's room done, and sometimes that means waiting for baby showers to finish up. But anything else you have planned around the house, get it done quickly! Last time, it was painting our house (since I got pregnant a month after we moved in). This time it's building built-in bookcases and finally (after way too long), getting my books organized. Well, the shelves are officially done as of this afternoon!!! I've got all of the fiction (about half the total) organized, now comes the more difficult part of organizing the non-fiction (Dewey Decimal, of course). But, what a sense of relief to have the heavy lifting done! I'm about to enter the third trimester and while we still need to buy new furniture for #1, move baby furniture into #2's nursery and get a few others things done, they are all relatively short & easy projects by comparison. I might get to relax this time after all!

More on drug recalls

http://money.cnn.com/2010/05/14/news/companies/tylenol_recall_plant_conditions/

I'm horrified by the breakdown of safety measures at Johnson & Johnson.

Just, don't

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/14/AR2010051404324.html?hpid=artslot

See above for definition of bad parenting, poor choice and one way to messed up children. (article is about a YouTube video of seven year old girls doing a highly inappropriate dance routine)

Sick baby

Okay, so toddler, presumably the baby is fine. Unlike pretty much every other mom I know, I have little experience in this. I've been super lucky that my toddler has been really sick twice: when he was four and a half months old (two weeks before the end of my working) he picked up RSV from daycare and gave it to me and my husband. Since I had two weeks left of work, daddy stayed home from work to take care of him and I dragged myself into work half dead. Then there was swine flu. My son was fine after two days, and we know what happened to me. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that 1. the illness is fast and 2. that I don't get it.

Right now he's just feverish (yay, nothing to give him for that, thanks McNeill Pharmaceuticals!!) with a slightly runny nose and super, super clingy. He did not want me to put him down from when he got up from his nap. Made making dinner for company tonight a snap. I'll check his temperature again in the morning and give him a cool (bubble) bath if it hasn't gone down yet. And my husband gets home tomorrow afternoon. He was THRILLED to hear about the cold.

Latest on single-motherhood

My husband usually takes care of the bedtime routine: bath, story, good-night! Since he's been away, I do it all. Hmm, bending over a bathtub with a big belly is not so comfortable! I discovered tonight that all that bending is a one-way ticket to heartburn! Fortunately, my heartburn this pregnancy hasn't been that bad, and it's always directly caused by me (ie: 100% preventable), but this was just really annoying! So, not bending over a lot is on the list now, but sometimes it's hard to avoid.

An update on the on-line nutrition information that's available for chain restaurants: Today is my parents' 37th wedding anniversary. So what better way to celebrate than by going to a nasty chain? (my mother gets gift cards at work for good performance reviews, I really wish she'd pick something else) Anyway, I was at least able to go on-line for both menu options and to check the calories. Double-win. I wouldn't say I had the healthiest meal, but it was relatively compared to the rest of the options and it also meant I knew what to order for my toddler (and what to bring to supplement) before we went. Hurray for information!!

Sixth Midwife Appointment

(I think it's the sixth) Anyway, not too much going on today. Baby is moving lots, which is great. My blood pressure is fine (I'm assuming, she forgot to tell me the numbers today), urine tests normal, etc. This was the first time I've been to an appointment without my husband. I should have made a list, because there were a couple of things that I forgot to talk about since he wasn't there. I love having an involved husband, but it doesn't mean that I want him to hear all of my questions. He's told me that I can kick him out of the room, but that feels wrong, too. Regardless, I had my toddler with me today (100% so that I could take HOV lanes home, otherwise the fifteen minute trip could have taken an hour) and he freaked out when they pulled out the stethoscope since he currently has a medical phobia so this kind of cut things short. I felt so bad for my baby screaming at the thought that Mommy might be hurt (or that he was next, I'll go with the former). So not the best appointment, but many more to come, so I won't feel like I missed out on too much.

One thing that I did mention was my continuing exhaustion, which most likely is due to #1 rarely sleeping through the night. So next time they'll do bloodwork to check my iron and Vitamin D levels. I'm guessing though that it is purely related to poor sleep.

Single motherhood

I occasionally get a taste of what it's like to be a single parent when my husband goes on work travel. I don't know how people do it indefinitely. The work I can handle, I am, after all, taking care of my son all day by myself every day. It's the knowing that I don't get a break, ever. Most days my husband pretty much takes over a little bit before dinner, giving me enough time to cook dinner, and then he feeds our son (well, I'm the one who still jumps up for anything that's needed, but at least I'm not the one sitting directly in front of the high chair) and puts him to bed doing the whole routine: bath, story, the works. This is usually my time to clean the kitchen and then blog and read e-mail. Even thought the bulk of my time is spent cooking and cleaning up, I still cherish that time in the evening where I don't have to be 100% aware of what my son is doing (just about 20% aware). If I have a bad day with Ivan the Terrible, I have some one to share it with and know that maybe I'll get a bit more of a break that day, or the next. I usually get to stay in bed one morning over the weekend. All of this adds up to enough little breaks that I can handle the days of exploding diapers, fussy eating and no naps. So, if you're not already knocked up: make sure that before you do that you have a support network in place! And if you're a single parent, well, G-d bless you, for I don't know how you do it!

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope all of you mommies and mommies-to-be have had a spectacular day. My day will be next Sunday, as my fabulous husband's not-so-fabulous job sent him on travel starting at 9 am this morning. I see a spa day in my future!

Baby getting hurt

It will inevitably happen, your precious, perfect baby will fall, tumble, slice and dice him or herself (sometimes with our help, but usually without). Even the most hovering and careful of parents cannot prevent it. Particularly once your toddler is running around. The best way to deal with it (for yourself) is to just get ready to see it happen. You are not a bad parent when Baby trips and falls against a piece of furniture and his bottom teeth go through his lip. You are not a bad parent when Baby suddenly jerks while you're cutting his nails and his finger gets nipped a bit. You are, however, a bad parent if you either 1) get so worked up over blaming yourself that you cannot comfort your hurt baby or 2) are so overprotective of your baby that you don't give him a chance to grow, and hurt himself again. (You are also a bad parent if you don't slow down your life and pay attention more if baby is getting hurt more than normal, or due to some mild negligence) Remember, this is just practice for when your child starts growing up and can really get into some scrapes!

More on the Cancer Panal Report

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/06/opinion/06kristof.html?th&emc=th

The simple pleasure of simple food

Today's lunch was sliced tomatoes and sliced mozzarella, drizzled with balsamic vinegar and olive oil and sprinkled with salt and pepper. It took about five minutes to make and tasted of spring. I've been craving this (with one opportunity to eat it a few weeks ago in a restaurant) all winter. I'm not even a tomato-lover, but there is something about this combination that is so yummy. Spring does this to me. I've been gobbling down the first strawberries (now that there are actually ripe ones in the stores) and could eat asparagus daily (although it's been more like once a week since I like it so much more than my husband does). Eating seasonally makes ripe, fresh fruits and vegetables taste so much better. Part of it is they do taste better when local and picked fresh, but it also makes you appreciate food when you know you can only get it for a limited time. I refuse tomatoes when they're out of season (except for that one restaurant meal, but the tomatoes were at least grown in a greenhouse and ripe-ish). Same with strawberries, asparagus, berries, stone fruits and any other identifiable seasonal food. I try to only eat salmon when it's salmon season because I'd rather buy it fresh off the boat (and yes, I actually know where I can buy it from the boat-hands). I stay away from corn on the cob until high summer. No, I'm not perfect, I've admitted to buying some fruit from Latin American countries to relieve the boredom of apples and pears, but overall, I'm trying (and admittedly some are easier to do, peaches do not taste good if they're not from nearby, but I grew up with a peach tree and am spoiled). My point is more than just buying local and in season: it's also that when you buy what tastes best, you're more likely to eat it. And who can argue with buying the best fruits and vegetables?

Going Organic, it's not just about you

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/06/AR2010050603813.html?hpid=moreheadlines

Basically, the world we live in is a toxic cesspool. There is no way that an individual can eliminate all of the toxins in their environment, but anything that you can do to limit your exposure and creation of more is a good thing. So: buy organic (everything that you can afford, start with food, move on to clothes, if you can). But buy less. Clean with non-toxic cleaners (better yet, make your own, although I'll admit that I'm not there yet), and use less. Grow (some) of your own food; nothing says local like your back yard. Drive less. Do, less. I know, I'm repeating myself, but the idea that fetal cord blood has toxins in it freaks me out. We want to do everything that we can to protect our children and sometimes that also means doing less (stuff).

As if I needed more evidence . . .

http://health.yahoo.com/news/reuters/us_children_tv.html

TV is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad for babies, toddlers and children (heck, it's not all that great for adults, either)! There is no reason for them to be watching it. My son stays occupied just fine with his toys and books, I don't buy the "but I just need half an hour to get something done" excuse. Children do learn how to entertain themselves, plopping them in front of the tv only delays or prevents that skill from being learned. I feel as though I am the only holdout, other mommy friends that I have all say "well, I always said that I wasn't going to let my child watch tv, but it's just so necessary . . ." NO IT'S NOT!!! I get into this argument on a regular basis with my husband (and semi-regular with my mother). I know that once my babies are over at other people's homes on a regular basis visiting friends I will have less control, but I have complete control now and will not relent. Hmm, I feel a little bit better now.

Oh, and if you're not bothered by your child's brain rotting from watching the boob tube, at least have them watch non-commercial channels or videos, the commercials are just as harmful as the programming (can we say sugar cereal, McDonald's and every unimaginative toy that is out there???).

Oregon has lowest rates of childhood obesity

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/03/AR2010050303132.html

Some promising news in the fight against obesity, and some not so. There hasn't been a proven causation as to why Oregon has a rate of only 9% (vs national 16%, and this is for obesity, it doesn't include just the overweight) but they think that one factor may be that the state has a high rate of breastfeeding. Oregon also has the best employer laws: women who are breastfeeding are entitled to pumping breaks (this was before the Health Care bill was signed) and I want to say that they're paid breaks, too. Other factors may be that they require chain restaurants to post nutritional information (also in health bill), and it is more of an outdoorsy state (ie: more physical activity). Unfortunately, what might be the biggest contributing factor is that the state is 90% white, and minorities tend to have higher rates of obesity.

What I'll take from the survey is that there are several things that have passed in the national health care bill that Oregon was already doing, so hopefully that might help a bit on a national scale. (The other thing that might help is to make everyone across the country food snobs that want fresh food from local sources, which is pretty prevalent all through the Pacific Northwest.)

Recalls!

As a parent, you're constantly bombarded with potential hazards that your children can face, but none are more upsetting than product recalls. We trust the companies that we buy from (or at least should be able to) and it's horribly upsetting to find out that your baby's crib, favorite toy, or painkiller that is the only thing soothing teething is suddenly dangerous. You also can become anxious worrying about everything you buy (just don't go down this road, it's not worth the ulcers). The best way to keep track is just follow the news. BabyCenter does a pretty good job of sending out alerts for products. I usually will get an e-mailed update within a day of a product recall. Friends are the ones I usually end up hearing about the latest Tylenol recall (yes, two this year alone!). Since big recalls are big news, if at least one of the parents keeps track of current events, you should be okay. Although, just in general, try to avoid toys that have questionable manufacturing (what, made in China? just say NO!). The more simply a toy is made (wooden stacking toys, for example) the better for your child's development and the less likely that it will harm your child. (Ignore the grandparents outcry, this is your child and YOU control what they play with/sleep in/eat!!)

Vitamin D recommendations increased for Pregnant Women

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/30/vitamin.d.pregnancy/index.html

Oh, it's been a few days. Sorry about that, I'll do two tonight :)

CNN posted an article a couple of days ago about recent studies showing that pregnant women need more Vitamin D than previously thought. Right now the RDA is 400IU and the study had women take up to 4000IU, yeah, big difference. At my first midwife appointment she recommended that I add a 2000IU supplement. It's recommended that midwives or obs do a blood test to see if their patient is low in Vitamin D, but as my midwife put it, everyone is, it's a $150 test, and $150 will buy a LOT of supplements.

This isn't based on anything I've read, but I'm willing to bet that there are two main contributors to why most of the population is now D deficient (I'm thinking that this is also why the recommendations are suddenly changing): change in food production & change in outdoor time. People spend much, much less time outside now than they ever have before, and scheduled outdoor time frequently (and should ALWAYS) include sunscreen. I have a history of skin cancer in my family, and am pale enough to glow in the dark, I don't leave my bathroom in the morning without sunscreen on my face, at least. The other big reason is that we're getting less D from our food. Animals produce Vitamin D in the sunlight as well, and this can be found in products such as milk and eggs (I'm not sure about the content in actual meat). As most of our animals are now being raised indoors (heck, so chickens never even see the light of day), they're D production has also plummeted. Another excellent reason to only buy products from animals that have lived outdoors!

So, talk to your midwife, ob or dr. and ask about the new recommendations!