Saying no

I'm not talking about to your child(ren), that should be fairly easy. I mean to other people. It's a good habit to get into while you're pregnant, not taking on too much, letting people down easy, prioritizing you and your family. If you're a Type A personality, then you will resist this, because, you've always pushed forward and gotten things done. But it is really, really important because you will have to slow down at least immediately after your child is born. The whole point of having children is to raise them, right? So you will want to actually be able to witness as much of Baby's growth as possible. Believe me, it happens so fast you blink and it's over (a big reason I desire to have more, I hope that after three kids or so, it will feel like I've actually experienced their childhood instead of blinking). I don't mean that women shouldn't have high-powered jobs, absolutely they should, but if at all possible, try to power back for a few years at least. The economy and business environment might make this at least seem impossible, but for women who want it all, there has to be a way to have a more flexible life. Obviously, this didn't work out so well for me, but a lot of companies would rather keep a good employee, even at 32 (or twenty, I can dream, right?) hours a week, than get rid of her.

But it's more than just work. It's also outside commitments. I previously wrote about how important it is to volunteer and be active in your community, but it is just as important to set boundries, particularly in unpaid positions, so that you are not being run right over when you least feel like it. Delegate, when possible, if you're at a point where you cannot do as much. Like later points in pregnancy and right after birth. You can always pick up volunteering later. The most important thing is to listen to your body, and listen to your heart.

Just because it says it's organic . . .

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704464704575208752164666686.html?mod=dist_smartbrief#printMode

doesn't mean you still don't have to pay attention. The big thing is the baby formula. If you end up having to supplement breastfeeding then you should know what you're putting in your baby. I didn't check it out, giving him Similac Organic. Anyway, the way they manufacture DHA is in vats of mold. Yep, mold. I haven't done much research beyond that, but I don't really like the idea of mold being used to synthesize part of my baby's diet. Unfortunately, there aren't many options, but at least you should be an informed consumer.

Fast food and children

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/27/AR2010042703768.html

A scary study done several years ago asked preschoolers what they're favorite restaurant was. Overwhelmingly, McDonald's came in first place, even amongst children who had never been there. This, of course, was accomplished by advertising; children who hadn't eaten at McDonald's were still watching enough television to be indoctrinated into American consumer culture. (okay, so a dig about tv as well as bad food) And what is the number one draw to McDonald's? Why the Happy Meal with a toy, of course. Which makes Santa Clara County in California just plain awesome in their attempts to battle childhood obesity by outlawing giving away toys along with unhealthy children's food. Children's meals must be under a certain number of calories, fat, sodium and sugar in order for a toy to be included. The law hasn't passed yet, but we can keep our fingers crossed. Although some (okay, many) will say that the government is being much too big brother-ish, I say good for the county. Children cannot make healthy decisions on their own, it must be done by parents. And too many parents are laying down on the job. I see it as a matter of child welfare to save them from their parents (and yes, I'm willing to go far enough down the zealot route to say feeding kids unhealthy foods all of the time is a form of child abuse, along with smoking around them, and not buckling them up properly in cars). As goes California, goes the nation (heck, I don't even live there anymore, but I'm proud of the various protections the state has enacted!).

Getting your Omega 3s

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/27/science/27qna.html?ref=health

One of the essential nutrients to consume while pregnant is Omega 3 fatty acids, usually found in fish, but also in other sources. Pregnant women are encouraged (usually) to take a supplement to make sure that they get enough. But I have issues with the supplement. How the fish oil is obtained is environmentally suspicious, and apparently the method used to make it for baby formula is that it is produced in vats of mold. Yuck. So I asked about other sources. Of course, eating too much fish (my problem) can lead to other issues (mercury poisoning anyone?), so my midwife suggested flaxseed oil. I'll admit, I have yet to open up my bottle (which is really, really bad of me!) because I'm still traumatized by the cod liver oil my parents made me ingest as a child (they didn't catch on to the capsules for a long time). But I must do this! Above is a link to a New York Times article in tomorrow's Health section about the differences between obtaining the fatty acids from flax vs fish. Basically, you need more oil from flax for your body to convert it properly. But especially if you're a vegetarian, this is a great option to have.

Keeping track of food

As part of the new Health Care Bill, chain restaurants will be required to post nutritional information. A lot of cities (and states, I think) have already started requiring this so a lot of national chains are already in compliance. And while in general, I avoid chains like the plague (unless I'm in the middle of nowhere, then at least they're a known quantity), we do have a chain diner (Ruby's Diner) near us that I love. The waitresses are all really good and love my son, the food is fresh and it's relatively cheap (yeah, I'm justifying a bit, but the service really is spectacular). Anyway, I made the mistake, uh, informed decision, of looking up the nutritional information before going there for breakfast this morning. I know that restaurant food in general is going to be much higher in calories, fat and sodium than my cooking, but what an eye-opener! Anyway, point being, even when we know we're eating food that isn't great for us, we don't always realize just how bad it really is. The new law can help change that. There will always be times for a splurge, but it's good to keep an idea of how big that splurge really is (like, if I weren't pregnant, I'd have to forgo food for a few days to make up for it!). This is important to remember when feeding children, when neither breastfeeding nor pregnant, and when trying to not slip into the majority in this country who are overweight or obese (and with the amount of eating out people do, it's not always hard to see how).

Burping

My lovely topic of conversation tonight is on one of the side effects of having less room for your stomach: more burping. I didn't really experience this last time, but, oh, now I am. Since dinner is usually my largest meal, even when I'm not overdoing it, this is when I feel it the most. I'm not really having heartburn most of the time (thank goodness!), but I'll just start burping nearly non-stop as I'm digesting. I start feeling a little bit of acid in the back of my throat. Then the worst: the burps start bringing up bits of food, too. (This is probably not helped at all by me spending a significant amount of time after dinner hunched over my computer, but this is my ONLY free time of the day, so I'll deal.) I'm sure that there are some fixes, eating less would probably be one of them, but if I stretch out the snacks (which would then be needed) too late, they interfere with my sleeping anyway. Going for a walk after dinner would be a good idea, if I didn't have a sleeping toddler upstairs. So I'm going to just leave it as a complaint and hope I'm not alone with my new development.

Who will take care of baby?

Jumping from schools back down to newborns, what are you going to do with Baby after birth? Hopefully you have the means or the employer that allows you to have a nice maternity leave if you work (if you already stay home, just go ahead and skip this post). But then what? Daycare in some parts of the country can be ridiculously pricey and hard to get into (as in, women get a note from their ob as soon as they are pregnant to get on a waiting list which they then might not get off of until said unborn child is a year old). There are so many choices: in-home, centers, nannies, relatives, etc. All of them have pros and cons, and some of those might not even be apparent until your child starts (like my baby would not sleep at daycare!). There is a lot to think about, and then there can be even more to think about afterward.

Why am I bringing this up? Because once you have that sweet baby in your arms, you're not going to know how you feel about then having to drop him or her off at daycare six, eight, twelve weeks later. I know a lot of women who LOVE their jobs. They've worked hard to get to where they are and don't want to give that up. They also realize that it's an essential part of themselves and to have to not work would be to deny part of themselves. And then they have a baby. This certainly doesn't happen to everyone. But it does happen. Experience starts to change your mind. This doesn't make you a bad person, or a weak woman for deciding that you'd rather stay home, only human because you couldn't imagine something until you were there. I'm only writing this to keep at the very back of your mind, just in case. And, of course, because even though I didn't love-love my job, I certainly expected to go back to it and be able to contribute financially to the family. But I couldn't. It hurt too much to drop my baby off each morning. We also didn't think there was any way, financially, for me to stay home. But we're making it work. It's not easy, particularly in this post-real estate bust, but a lot more people can do it if they really try. I just want to make sure that you soon-to-be mommies know that there are a lot of options out there. And that there are others who feel the same way.*

*There are plenty who also can't wait to go back to work, and that's fine, too! Newborns are not easy in any way shape or form, so I want to make sure that nobody thinks I'm dissing them!

More on school lunches

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/20/AR2010042001181.html

Silly me, who doesn't watch television, I forgot that everyone else seems to be tuned into the school lunch issue. Here's an article about Jaime Oliver's show from yesterday's Washington Post's food section (newspapers, I obviously read, if not always right away). I adore Oliver, and not just because he cooks and is cute. He has done a ton of work in Britain to try and fix school lunches there, as well as other charitable causes (like teaching at-risk youths [and I believe recent inmates] for food-industry jobs, etc.). I'm always one to jump late on a celebrity bandwagon. I need them to prove to me that they're worthwhile first (heck, I didn't like Madonna until I read that she didn't let her children watch television). I think Oliver is worthwhile, and it helps that I believe in his causes: cooking for health & family. So if he can get you to care, that's another reason I'll like him.

BTW, PBS showed Food, Inc. last night and now has it on their website. So if you haven't seen it yet, now's your chance to do so for free!

Never to early to be horrified by school lunches

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/04/20/AR2010042000916.html

Taking a look several years into the future: do you know what your kids will be eating in their school lunch? The above article is about the armed services complaining that school lunches are making young adults to fat to join the military. Regardless of whether or not you see your child taking that route, it's pretty hard not to be concerned. Ironically, after World War II the military was the one who got the federal government to institute nutritional standards for school foods after complaining that they were causing malnourishment in potential recruits.

But looking at a time in the closer future: I already hear horror stories of parents whose children imbibe tons of sweets and other junk food at daycare. It is really, really, really hard to counter that environment when children are being immersed in it from such an early age. One of the reasons we chose the daycare we did (even if #1 was only there for nine weeks) was because I had more control over what he was going to eat. What to do? Model what good nutrition is for your children. This is the #1 thing that you can do. Do NOT eat poorly in front of them and then expect them to gobble down the steamed broccoli. Bonus: you'll be more healthy, too. Also, don't let them watch television. Forgetting about the lack of exercise and brain rot sitting in front of the boob tube causes, it's also the constant bombardment of commercials for BAD food that causes problems. If little Timmy doesn't see 5000 McDonald's commercials a week, he's much less likely to bet you to take him there. I could go on, but I'm tired, and I think you've got the point. Eat healthy and remember, you are the parent, so say no to bad food!

Cankles

The swelling has begun. Not as bad (yet) as last time, but not quite pretty, either. So, back to remembering what helped last time. For early ankle swelling (not third trimester, which is pretty unavoidable) that is not caused by hypertension or other serious problems there is a relatively easy fix (and I guess if the easy fix doesn't work, then it's time to check again for a more serious problem): make sure you're getting enough protein and fluids. The fluids are more intuitive since the less water you're drinking, the more likely your body is going to hold on to what you do drink. (too bad this doesn't work with fat too: your body says, oh, you have enough fat now, so any more that you eat we'll just flush out, and probably reduce your stores too, since this isn't going to be a problem) Drinking more lets your body know that you don't need to hold onto fluids. I'm not sure how the protein works, but last time my Bradley Class instructor told me to try it and it worked almost immediately. The swelling in my ankles went down in a couple of days. I noticed my lovely cankles on Saturday (which doesn't mean that they weren't there before, I'm not always the most observant person). It has been warmer outside, but I also haven't been eating as much protein. For some reason, the warmer it is, the lighter the food I eat and that means cutting out some proteins, too. Which isn't good! My staples from pregnancy #1 were cheese & hummus to snack on every afternoon (not together), which are the two things that I have an aversion to right now. So I really, really need to get my Bradley workbook out (tomorrow maybe?) for some suggestions and to actually track my food intake again. It's always a process.

Eat small meals, frequently (or why I didn't post last night)

There are some random things that become more difficult with a second pregnancy that you'd never think of. Last time, I worked in an office and had no problem snacking throughout the day to keep my blood sugar level and avoid eating too much in one sitting. This time, since I'm home with my son, this is proving to be difficult. I can't really snack in front of him, and make it a point to only eat what he can (my husband is bad about this and it causes tons of fussing at dinner time). So by dinner time, I tend to be really hungry. Last night I made a delicious mushroom risotto, and hadn't really eaten much of a lunch, so I was starved and had a plate of one of my favorite foods in front of me. Big mistake. My full sensors weren't working in real time, so by the time I realized that I had had enough, I had had way too much. I spent the next four hours on the couch, in discomfort until I finally got so tired I just had to go to bed, uncomfortable or not. (wow, I sound like such a glutton!!) At least my son had a good night's sleep and so did I. Usually, however, I just don't end up eating enough because I purposely try to avoid the above scenario at dinner time, and just end up being hungry an hour or two later. At least I'm better about snacking after dinner, once my toddler is in bed. Although not always great about what I'm snacking on (my sweet tooth has come back again. I really like it when it goes away!) Anyway, so here's another do as I say, not as I do post. Learn from my mistakes!!!

Web resource

http://www.midwiferytoday.com/

Not being able to come up with anything on my own to write about, I instead am relying on Google for a little help. Midwifery Today is a quarterly magazine for midwives, but the website has a ton of information on it, and at least parts of articles from the magazine. I read a bunch and really liked what is being written about, so I encourage you to take a look. The search function (for midwives, doulas, birth centers, etc.) seems rather limited, but at least it's a start. So it's worth a few clicks, at least.

Fifth Midwife appt

Okay, it was on Tuesday. Not a particularly mind-blowing appointment, just a nice, routine one. We listened to BabyGirl's heartbeat. My blood pressure is its normal low. My urine tests were all neg. (normal) At 22 weeks I'm not experiencing anything unusual. One thing I will add is that my husband makes sure to make it to every single appointment. Which is fantastic, and I'm sure many women would like to have such involved husbands. But I've also realized that there are a couple of things that I'm not entirely comfortable talking about in front of him. Like my complete lack of libido. I mean, he knows about it, but I'd kind of like to talk to my midwife without him around so that I don't feel like I need to apologize for it, too. So as much as I'm ticked off with my darling husband's next work travel (leaving on Mother's Day, for goodness sake!), I am looking forward to having an appointment all to myself that week. I just need to remember that this is the time to talk about everything I want to discuss privately.

One of those weeks

My blog has unfortunately been more at the bottom of my list this week. A variety of factors are just all coming at me causing one stressed momma. So I guess a couple of updates from prior posts since I'm not being very creative right now. I finally got around to buying a new, larger bra (yeah, just one so far). I spent part of date night last Saturday at Macy's and bought the ugliest, oldladiest bra. In a 38D. Before getting pregnant, I couldn't wait for larger breasts. Now I just miss my little 36As. Oh, well, there's always cosmetic surgery when I'm done. I also lucked out and L'Occitane had some Mama and Baby balm. I love this stuff, and I love it even more since I've waited so long to get it. So I stopped using my locally produced solid moisture bar and am sticking with the shea butter. My belly is so soft! BabyGirl also continues to move frequently. My husband has felt her a few times and I'm just waiting impatiently for my son to feel her. I'm sure he'll either be totally nonplussed, or freaked out. But it's exciting for me! I've also been super bad and consumed nearly an entire 1lb bag of Twizzlers. I can't remember the last time I had any, and it will be a long time before I buy them again. Who says crap food will make you feel bad??

Fight for Midwifery law in NY State

http://www.wten.com/Global/story.asp?S=12298092

An article forwarded to me by a friend. Right now, New York requires midwives to practice with an OB instead of independently. The bill, Midwifery Modernization Act, would allow midwives to practice independently, as they do in many other states, including mine. The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists opposes the bill. So I feel the need to editorialize. Nearly everything that I've read about the ACOG points to them continuously trying to obstruct the practice of midwives. Despite the fact that midwifery care tends to have better results than OB care in non-high risk pregnancies. While there is a reason to go to an ob if you're pregnant (such as, you are at high risk), for most women a midwife would be a healthier, and cheaper option. Unfortunately, due to the obstruction of the ACOG, there aren't that many places in this country that have a full range of options. Many areas are completely deviod of midwives, and most other places require that they only deliver in hospitals, or birth centers attached to hospitals. This can artificially inflate the price of delivery. Anyway, keep an eye on this and any developments in your own communities and states to help or hinder midwifery practices. And remember, our lawmakers need to know that safe, affordable midwifery care is important to us!

Sensitive noses

While not as bad as last time around (when grocery shopping made me nauseated), my sense of smell is still much keener than normal, which leads to some problems. I'm fortunate enough that strong smells aren't causing nausea, but it's still not fun. Which leads to today's gripe: husbands who just don't get it. Last time, every time we went out for (turkey) burgers and fries, I wouldn't let my husband order garlic fries because the smell was just too overpowering. He'd grumble every time, but he'd comply. So I'm trying to be nicer this time, which has just resulted in misery for me. We went out last night. He ordered garlic fries. This morning I still couldn't kiss him. Which made him mad, but sorry, that's the price you pay for twenty minutes of garlic-eating. To be fair, I also can totally smell the garlic on my son's breath when he's been eating garlic, too, but at nineteen months, his breath isn't that bad and I can only smell it when we're nose to nose, instead of across the room, or all night long in bed. Ugh. Ironically, perfumes I kind of like being able to smell more, it helps to hide all of the people in a movie theater who have BO or similarly stinky breath.

Big Ultrasound

And, it's a GIRL!!! And our due date is officially 8/19/10. They changed it after the last ultrasound, but my midwives didn't accept the change. It shouldn't make a difference as long as BabyGirl is around on time. Anyway, it was fun spending an hour looking at the baby and seeing her, although the only thing I really cared about was the gender (since prior ultrasound showed everything as it should be). As much as I love my boy, I'm a girly girl (heck, look at my avatar) and would very much like a daughter to share it with. A daughter who agrees that pink is the best color ever and understands why my purse matches my stand mixer. But don't worry, she should also be able to kick a** if provoked. I may be the picture of femininity, but don't mess with me, either. This also brings up a whole host of other issues dealing with societal treatment of women that I will now have to navagate to raise a confident, secure lady. Sigh, nobody said it would be easy.

Breastfeeding support at work

SEC. 4207. REASONABLE BREAK TIME FOR NURSING MOTH2
ERS.
3 Section 7 of the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938
4 (29 U.S.C. 207) is amended by adding at the end the fol5
lowing:
6 ‘‘(r)(1) An employer shall provide—
7 ‘‘(A) a reasonable break time for an employee to
8 express breast milk for her nursing child for 1 year
9 after the child’s birth each time such employee has
10 need to express the milk; and
11 ‘‘(B) a place, other than a bathroom, that is
12 shielded from view and free from intrusion from co13
workers and the public, which may be used by an em14
ployee to express breast milk.
15 ‘‘(2) An employer shall not be required to compensate
16 an employee receiving reasonable break time under para17
graph (1) for any work time spent for such purpose.
18 ‘‘(3) An employer that employs less than 50 employees
19 shall not be subject to the requirements of this subsection,
20 if such requirements would impose an undue hardship by
21 causing the employer significant difficulty or expense when
22 considered in relation to the size, financial resources, na23
ture, or structure of the employer’s business.
24 ‘‘(4) Nothing in this subsection shall preempt a State
25 law that provides greater protections to employees than the
26 protections provided for under this subsection.’’.

Yes, I went through the healthcare omnibus to find this for you, my loyal readers. If you work for a company employing at least 50 people, you are now given the right to pump at work in a private area, not a bathroom, as is necessary to you, for a year after giving birth. Now they just to extend that to all employers. And add some paid maternity leave. If I ever run for public office I am so making this part of my platform!

Another bad night

I'm worn out and exhausted after spending last night on the floor of my son's room so my husband could get a decent night's sleep. #1 was up every twenty minutes for a few hours, his poor mouth in pain. Unfortunately, he'd had his full dose of Motrin, so there wasn't anything I could do for him but hold him and rock him back to sleep.

I started looking through the health care omnibus, yes, all 2000+ pages for stuff that will affect you positively. It's taking a while to find anything relevant, but I will prevail and hopefully have something more interesting tomorrow other than another complaint about teething. At least my husband doesn't have any big meetings tomorrow, so I can sleep in my own bed.

Breast health

As you get closer to the end of your pregnancy, and closer to breastfeeding there are a few things to remember to make life a little easier on you and Baby. First of all, get rid of the underwire bras (unless it's impossible due to your size). Underwires can cut into your milk ducts funny impeding supply and even causing plugged ducts. Plus, so much more comfortable for sore breasts to be in soft cups. If you have larger breasts it will be more difficult to find them (last time around my department stores had about three styles, combined, and that was only for a C cup), but worth it.

Secondly, quit using soap on your breasts. Or lotion, or powder or anything except for nipple cream, if necessary. How would you like it if your food tasted like Chanel #5? Right now your nipples and the vicinity are producing oils (you may have broken out, or at least noticed the increase) that serve to clean and lubricate the area. Let your body take care of itself and just use water in the last month or so of pregnancy and after birth.

Speaking of wet, once you start breastfeeding, allow your breasts to air dry as much as possible. You can get yeast infections on your nipples (and in Baby's mouth) which are really hard to clear up. Proper drying can help prevent this. My midwives recommend going around topless as much as possible. I kept a burp cloth around for leakage, but tried to keep them bare (just ask the neighbors!). Obviously, this only works around the home, or at the beaches in Europe, but certainly in the evenings you can at least go braless. Also make sure to change the bra pads frequently. I bought reusable cotton ones, which worked great and I could just wash out in the sink in the evening (I bought a dozen pairs, so eventually they just went in the wash whenever I did a load). At night I slept on my back or side with a burp cloth over my breasts, which worked really well and was so much more comfortable than sleeping in a nursing bra. And I leaked a lot, until about a month after I stopped breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding books, of course, also have a ton of information, but here's the basics to start thinking about.

Breastfeeding article

Morning bonus: http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/05/breastfeeding.costs/index.html?hpt=Sbin

Overwhelmed and underrested

I'm having one of those weekends: #1 is cutting a tooth (his seventeenth, at eighteen months, oy!) and not sleeping (he finally slept from 5am to 6:30am in bed with us this morning after getting up four times in pain), taxes are due but I'm not getting any time to do them, my responsibilities as condo board prez are crushing and overwhelming and I'm all on my own with them. Unfortunately, it means I'm also taking stuff out on my husband, but he spent most of the weekend outside doing yard work, by choice, so I'm not feeling all that charitable toward him for not giving me much of a break. At least it's only second trimester. I'm near tears (okay, actually I had a little cry this afternoon, but I'll blame it on the YouTube videos I was watching at the time), but I'm sort of holding it together. I don't think I have any words of wisdom tonight, other than, don't let this be you :)

Easter Egg Hunt

The last time I went to an Easter Egg Hunt, my brother was a baby (he's now in his late twenties) and it was at a big park with tons of chocolate eggs to find. It took a while and there was plenty for everyone. This morning I attempted to take #1 to a hunt at the local grocery store. We arrived seven minutes late (my husband let me oversleep) and the kids were already going home. With grocery bags full of plastic eggs. How times have changed. Apparently, it's now a pushing, grabbing, greed contest instead of a fun time looking for hidden objects. A very nice little boy offered my son some of his eggs (I let my son choose one, and promptly took the candy part away when he wasn't paying attention), but that was the only bit of manners I could see. Even the line to take a picture with the Easter bunny was full of people cutting and pushing others out of their way (adults, not the kids; half of them were terrified of the giant bunny). We did at least get our picture, and certainly my son didn't know what he had missed out on, but I worry for the future, both for children in general and for my children: not wanting them to act or think that acting that way is acceptable.

Eating Fish

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/fishmercury.htm

Our usual diet consists of a protein (chicken, turkey or fish) with some type of grain: rice, tortilla, pasta. So Passover becomes a bit of a challenge since I can't really do a stir-fry or pasta dish. I end up eating a ton of fish (salmon, gefilte fish, canned tuna, gefilte fish, etc.). After realizing that I'm eating fish up to twice a day, I thought maybe I should remind myself of the forbidden ones due to mercury. Gefilte fish doesn't seem to be on there (what, it's not a separate species? okay, the ingredients are on the low list). I am eating too much canned tuna (I gave up the real stuff, particularly because I prefer it still flopping on the plate) due to insane cravings for anything with mayonnaise (which I don't usually like); mainly tuna fish sandwiches, although I'm looking forward to the post-egg-hunt devilled eggs on Sunday a little too much.

The list above is a good reminder to branch out, a lot. The bigger problem is that my husband likes salmon, and that's pretty much it. I'll eat anything from the sea (except sea urchins, they're pretty gross both cooked and raw), so I need to get a little more creative, which is exactly what any pregnant woman wants to hear: more work! Point is: the more variety in your diet, the better both for getting maximum nutrients and for keeping the bad stuff low. Oh, and make sure to compare the mercury list with the safe fish list (so stay away from things like farmed or Atlantic salmon!). So here's a freebie for you: http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/cr_seafoodwatch/sfw_recommendations.aspx

Book recommendations!

I've had a couple of questions about books from readers, so I thought I'd talk about that tonight. Here's another don't do what I did: I burned out on pregnancy books and then didn't read any baby books until #1 was already born. You will be too exhausted to read baby books at that point, so please read them BEFORE giving birth. You're not going to remember a lot of it, but enough should stick to be helpful.

Pregnancy books: I just loved Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. It was a fun, easy read that really covered the down and dirty stuff with a sense of humor. One criticism that I've read about it is that the author is too open to C-sections and pain meds. That's her choice, but I didn't feel like it took anything away from the book. I like that she is completely non-judgemental, even I don't agree with some of her choices. I've heard scary things about the What to Expect books so I skipped them. I really don't want to read about infinitesimal things that can go horribly wrong unless I'm actually at risk. I'm usually in favor of over-education, but when it comes to some stuff, knowing too much will just keep you up at night. I have enough that already does that. I also checked out a book on home births from the library that I enjoyed, but it was British and not terribly applicable. Do go to the library, you don't need to buy a bunch of pregnancy books and sometimes they also have them in the charity sales (my GGTP was $.25).

Labor books: Bradley method. These were the only ones I read (and honestly, I didn't read them all the way through). Natural Birth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg, Erick Ingraham, and Robert A. Bradley and Husband-Coached Childbirth by Robert A. Bradley, Marjie Hathaway, Jay Hathaway, and James Hathaway plus the workbook that comes with the course (actually, the books do, too, so if you're going to sign up for the class, you don't need to buy them separately). The second one should be read by your partner, too.

Postpartum: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League International. Please read this before giving birth. The only thing I didn't like about the book is that it makes everything seem so easy when it isn't necessarily. There is NOTHING wrong with you if you have problems with breastfeeding! But there are tons of great tips and advice and overall it's a great resource to have.

Baby Books: the two books I liked the best are The Baby Whisperer Solves all of Your Problems by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau and The Baby Book by Dr. William Sears. The Baby Whisperer is fantastic in figuring out routines (like don't let your baby sleep for more than two hours at a time during the day, this revolutionized our lives) and how much food, sleep, etc. is needed at what age. She also doesn't like "Crying it Out" for getting a baby to sleep (which I am against) so more points for her. Dr. Sears is THE baby expert and also into attachment parenting, so I strongly identify with him and his ideas. There is also just a lot of basic information. The book is 600+ pages, so I still haven't gotten anywhere close to through with it, but it was also extremely helpful in figuring out why Baby is crying type questions.

My husband read Happiest Baby on the Block and Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp which were also lifesavers in getting Baby to sleep when he was teeny tiny. I haven't read them yet, but they're next on my list. The toddler one is working well for my husband communicating with our Terrible Toddler, which is why I need to read it soon!

I've read most of the Baby 411 and Toddler 411 books by Denise Fields and Ari Brown, M.D. but I'm not a huge fan. They're great for straight information on a lot of stuff, but I don't agree with the child-rearing advice. So I suppose useful for when you don't want to slog through the encyclopedia that is Dr. Brown. She also wrote the Baby Bargains book which is mainly useful if you're tempted to buy a ton of baby stuff. I wasn't so it was more useful in explaining to Daddy why the toys he loved as a baby (bouncy seat, walker) are actually death traps that our children won't have.

For partner: Besides the Happiest books above, my husband really likes the series by Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash, The Expectant Father, the New Father, and Fathering your Toddler.

There are hundreds of books out there to peruse. These are merely the ones that I've found or have been recommended to me that I thought were helpful, I hope that they're helpful to you, too.