Doulas

What is a doula? A doula is a woman who is there to support you during birth and/or afterward (there are postpartum doulas although they are not as common). Traditionally, this role would have been a female member of your family, someone who had attended births before. But since few women ever attend births not their own, we now have doulas instead. They are non-medical, but can be extremely helpful. What do they do? Support you and your partner. So, giving you massages during contractions, help you get into different positions to help labor progress. Get a drink of water for you, etc. Usually a doula will go to your house when you first start labor and then go with you to the hospital or birth center (or stay with you at home if you're having a home birth). They can help you understand what is going on, particularly if you're at a hospital and they want to do any procedure. A doula can help advocate for your birth plan. All of this can be really helpful, just to have another person on your side, if this is a first child.

Last time around, I looked into having a doula, but ultimately decided that we could not afford one since we had to pay for the birth out of pocket (got to love health insurance, I try to go the cheapest route and they refuse to pay anyway!). There is a doula training school nearby that I was going to inquire about a doula-in-training, but I didn't get around to it in time. Oops! Since my labor was only four hours, it didn't make much of a difference, but the friends who have used a doula really, really liked it. I have yet to hear anything negative about using one.

How to find a doula? You could ask your midwife or ob, whomever teaches your birthing class (because you are taking one, right?) or do a Google search. There aren't any requirements or licensing for doulas, but there are different associations that certify them. I'm lucky that in my area there is not only a huge midwifery school, but also lots of doula training.

What about me? I hadn't really given it much thought this time around. Since my labor was so fast last time, I'm not sure if I need one. We're also in the position of possibly paying for the birth out of pocket again, with only one salary this time. The friend who was going to help last time (but we forgot to call since everything happened so quickly) I swore I would call this time, at least to help with #1 (I will not be calling my mother, I don't want my parents around until after the baby is born, if you know me and have listened to my rants, I'm sure you understand). I think if I were going to the hospital I would feel differently. But feel free to call me out on my "do as I say, not as I do" stance :).