Exploding Breasts!

Back before I had my first child, I was barely an A cup. Like, PMS bloat might get me up there. But I had come to terms with my barely there assets and was okay with that. Pregnancy number one: they grew, but so slowly that it wasn't until my eighth month that I finally went and got sized. Which, you should totally do. Getting professionally measured at Nordstroms was fantastic. Don't even think about Victoria's Secret; I don't care if they do all have measuring tapes around their necks, they don't know what they're doing. Yeah, you've got to show the girls off to a complete stranger, but if you're pregnant, you're already used to strangers seeing various body parts, so no big deal. The professional measuring meant I ended up with two of the ugliest C cup bras ever. But they fit. The problem is that you should not, I repeat SHOULD NOT wear underwires toward the end of your pregnancy and after giving birth if you are breastfeeding (which you should be doing). They can mess with your milk ducts. Doesn't always happen (I can hear the chorus of "Well my friends all wore underwires and they didn't have problems"), but why take the chance. And I will admit, even after wearing underwire bras for sixteen years, bras are more comfortable without. The problem is non-underwire bras are really hard to find, particularly in any size larger than an A. Nordstrom had three. Macy's had about five. I bought one bra from each store. And spent about seventy dollars ($70.00) on the two. Gulp. Did I mention they're ugly.

Anyway, after my boobs dried up and I had to stop breastfeeding my old A cups soon fit again. A little more snug, but they worked. I saved my ugly, expensive bras for the next time.

Lo and behold, on Tuesday morning I looked in the mirror (something, I admit, I don't do all of the time) and there were a large pair of breasts. I'm not sure where they came from, and I'm pretty sure it happened overnight. So I'm back in my ugly C cups. At least I was prepared this time.

By the way, after my experiences at the department stores, I bought my nursing bras from Target, and they weren't that bad, and much, much cheaper. Well, I bought two from Target and one ugly one from Babies 'R Us by Medela (nursing bras are also hard to find without underwires, go figure). The Target ones were way, way better!