Screening for birth defects

Today I went in for an ultrasound and blood test to check for the possibility of Down's Syndrome and two Trisonomy disorders (I don't remember the specifics, I missed my nap today). I'm not at high risk, but the test is relatively painless (finger prick) and since my insurance pays for it (and little else) I like having the peace of mind. Of course, this does bring up the question of what would my husband and I do if the tests came back positive. This is something that we discussed before getting married and procreating. Both of us are fervently pro-choice believing that a baby is not a sentient being until it is born and that there is nothing worse than an unwanted child. ( Side note: When I had my miscarriage I had to exam my opinion, for if I believe that birth is what makes a person, then how do I reconcile my feelings of loss and sorry? I had a wonderful discussion with my midwife and was able to come to terms with both without feeling hypocritical.) We feel it isn't fair to bring a child into the world if they are going to suffer beyond the pale for their lives. Nor would it be fair to other children to intentionally have a child that would take all of our time and energy. Not to mention the fact that if such a child were to outlive us then he or she would most likely be a burden upon the state and his or her siblings. I hope that we never have to make such a decision, and weighed with it, I can't guarantee what our decision would be, but I do feel better for both having discussed it beforehand, and having the foresight to take tests that will allow us to make a decision.

Slight Scare This Morning

It's amazing how after one miscarriage (as frequent as they actually are) the littlest thing can make your heart stop for a minute. This morning I got up with my son at six thirty. When I actually got up (ie started functioning) at eight, I went to the bathroom and there were a few spots of blood in my underwear. This was NOTHING like when I miscarried. This was small and light brown, which is old blood. Around 8:30 I finally called my midwife just for some reassurance. She confirmed that this wasn't anything to worry about, and asked if I had recently had sex. Um, yeah, for the first time since finding out I was pregnant, as a matter of fact. And a bit passionately. So that was probably it. She told me that a little bit of brown or pinkish blood wasn't unusual after sex. So I'll be nervous still for a day or two, but then I'll calm down and be back to concentrating on my nausea and exhaustion.

Risk Aversion

I'm sorry about no post last night, between my class and watching/reading what was going on in Haiti, I completely forgot. But I have been inspired, hence today's topic.

I will admit it, I am a stickler for the rules. And when it comes to the "shouldn'ts" of pregnancy, doubly so. I know plenty of women who had the occasional glass of wine, deli meats and soft cheeses without any problems. And I know women who did everything right and still had children born with problems. The biggest issue is that for a lot of things, nobody knows for sure how much of something might hurt a fetus. The reaction to alcohol, for instance. This most likely has a genetic component where some women can drink like a fish (see the 60s) without harming the fetus where others are risking fetal alcohol syndrom with only a couple of drinks before they even know they are pregnant. The chances of consuming a raw egg infected with salmonella is like one in 10,000. Listeria poisoning is similarly rare. But, as far as I'm concerned, why take the chance?

My life has already been a series of lucky breaks. If there is a natural phenomenon for the US, I've been in it: hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes; I've been on an airplane that was struck by lightening two feet outside of my wingside window. I've been evacuated from my home because of chance of flooding. The house next door to mine burnt to the ground and the only thing that kept mine safe was that the prevailing winds were freakishly not blowing. I lived six blocks from the Capital on 9/11. Need I go on? I'd rather not push my luck on some of the stuff I can control.

So, no sushi, no chevre, no wine. I don't eat deli meats, so it just gives me an excuse to bypass that hoagie. I called every single grocery store in a 30 minute radius looking for pasteurized eggs so that I could make the chocolate mousse in the Buche de Noel for our holiday party (I also totally do not trust the USDA and their food safety testing). And you've already seen my opinion on skin care products. I believe that the FDA rules prohibit doing drug trials on pregnant women, so what is considered "safe" is frequently that which has not been shown to be detrimental. So, yes, no drugs for me. Obviously, if something became life or death, I would relent, but I see no reason for antacids or painkillers. If I can handle natural childbirth, I can deal with some heartburn.

And as a final emphasis on the Fates and not tempting them: really, what were the odds that I would have gotten Swine Flu when I did with the effect that it had?

Due Date?

Since this is a pregnancy blog, there should be a ticker somewhere, right? Well, my due date is currently not calculated. My last period started October 2, 2009. On November 2 I tested positive with a brilliant double pink line. That day I left for vacation with my son and on Sunday, November 8 we came down with swine flu. My fever was so high that I miscarried (a blessing, really, I wouldn't want to spend an entire pregnancy worrying that I had caused brain damage to my fetus) on November 11. On December 12 I had the faintest of double lines. Actually, I didn't see it, my inquisitive husband pulled what I thought was the negative test out of the trash and saw the line. (Kudos to my husband for not being squeamish about a pee stick, or pretty much anything birth-related) We have been cautiously excited ever since. My first midwife appointment was on December 22 where I had really good HCG levels, so the caution is letting up a little bit. But every time I feel a twinge in my uterus or I feel some fluids, I get a little nervous. However, my nausea is starting to kick in big time, so that's a great sign, right? Tomorrow is my dating ultrasound where I'll see the baby's heartbeat. That should give me a lot more peace of mind. And I'll have a picture for tomorrow's post!