Happy Passover

Religion can be a contentious topic. Growing up, we didn't really do it. My dad is a confirmed atheist, my mother is Jewish. We were raised sort of Jewish. We did (some of) the important holidays (Passover, Rosh Hashannah and Yom Kippur) but never went to synagogue. It wasn't until I went to college (with a very large minority of Jews) that I really began learning about my religion. I still have a long, long way to go, but it's really important to me that my children have a strong religious upbringing. It's okay if they rebel and reject (some of) it, but I at least want them to have the choice rather than feeling like they're playing catch-up the rest of their lives. Ironically, I had to marry a strong Lutheran in order to find a partner who both understood and respected my level of religion. I think a big part of raising a family is trying to do things differently than how you were raised, changing things to what you think would have made you happier. I'm going to screw some stuff up, but I'd like to think that I'll also learn and adjust. I'll make mistakes, but at least I hope to make different ones than my parents did.

Out of the Closet

Well, I did it, I told my parents that I'm pregnant with #2. Much screaming and crying from my mother, bewilderment from my father, at first. Since my mom has talked about retiring when I have my second, I got her a retirement card to let her know. As soon as she saw the word "Retirement" she started screaming. Of course, we were out to dinner for my dad's birthday, and he was opening up his own card, so he couldn't figure out what was going on. She finally spit it out and he just sat there in shock. Unlike with #1, she managed to not call half of the world within five minutes (no joke, seriously, half the world, then her battery went dead). One attempted phone call to a friend who is out of the country, so that didn't work. I expect that she'll fix that tomorrow, but at least I didn't have to witness it.

Well, I guess we can start telling everyone else now. Anyone who didn't hear it from my mom.

Family

What better topic to follow up nausea, right? Family is a complicated issue. If you're lucky then there is mutual love, respect and support. If you're really lucky then you have all of that in forms that you like. Mine is a mixed bag. My parents LOVE me, my brother and my family. The kind of all-encompassing, sometimes suffocating love. Six months after my son was born my parents moved more than a thousand miles into a house FIVE HOUSES DOWN from us. Yes, technically I found the rental for them. I figured if they're going to be close, I want them within walking distance so I don't have to hear about my dad needing to leave to take care of his dog after an hour (he can walk home and come back) or having to get my antsy toddler into his car seat every time they want to see him. In an emergency it takes them three minutes to get to me (including getting dressed in the middle of the night).

However, they are suffocating, and they cannot see outside of their own experiences. College? Didn't understand. Wanting to live away from home? Didn't understand. Not wanting the whole world to know every aspect of my business? Don't understand. Add this with the fact that I am the only one reproducing amongst my mother's family and friends and there is a lot of pressure and excessive "advice." I couldn't tell you how many "aunties" my son has even if I tried to count them all. Which lead to me not revealing my first pregnancy until my parents visited at nineteen weeks. Obviously, I can't hide it that long this time. Heck, I'm about ready to move into my roomier maternity clothes already! I'd rather wait until after the first trimester so I'm less worried about a miscarriage again (nope, didn't tell them about that, either). But, there's that growing belly. My dad's birthday is next week, so I have a feeling we'll spill the beans then. A good birthday present, I think, since all I hear about is when we're going to start on number two. Then all I can do is hope and pray that they mainly leave us and our choices alone. (Because I can already hear my mother: "You can't have a home birth, what if something happens!!??")