Doulas

What is a doula? A doula is a woman who is there to support you during birth and/or afterward (there are postpartum doulas although they are not as common). Traditionally, this role would have been a female member of your family, someone who had attended births before. But since few women ever attend births not their own, we now have doulas instead. They are non-medical, but can be extremely helpful. What do they do? Support you and your partner. So, giving you massages during contractions, help you get into different positions to help labor progress. Get a drink of water for you, etc. Usually a doula will go to your house when you first start labor and then go with you to the hospital or birth center (or stay with you at home if you're having a home birth). They can help you understand what is going on, particularly if you're at a hospital and they want to do any procedure. A doula can help advocate for your birth plan. All of this can be really helpful, just to have another person on your side, if this is a first child.

Last time around, I looked into having a doula, but ultimately decided that we could not afford one since we had to pay for the birth out of pocket (got to love health insurance, I try to go the cheapest route and they refuse to pay anyway!). There is a doula training school nearby that I was going to inquire about a doula-in-training, but I didn't get around to it in time. Oops! Since my labor was only four hours, it didn't make much of a difference, but the friends who have used a doula really, really liked it. I have yet to hear anything negative about using one.

How to find a doula? You could ask your midwife or ob, whomever teaches your birthing class (because you are taking one, right?) or do a Google search. There aren't any requirements or licensing for doulas, but there are different associations that certify them. I'm lucky that in my area there is not only a huge midwifery school, but also lots of doula training.

What about me? I hadn't really given it much thought this time around. Since my labor was so fast last time, I'm not sure if I need one. We're also in the position of possibly paying for the birth out of pocket again, with only one salary this time. The friend who was going to help last time (but we forgot to call since everything happened so quickly) I swore I would call this time, at least to help with #1 (I will not be calling my mother, I don't want my parents around until after the baby is born, if you know me and have listened to my rants, I'm sure you understand). I think if I were going to the hospital I would feel differently. But feel free to call me out on my "do as I say, not as I do" stance :).

Midwife Appt Number Four

This afternoon was my latest midwife appointment. We started it off by me being assured that yes, as soon as I call for a midwife when I go into labor, one will head my way. And I was reminded to remind whomever is coming that #1 took four hours. This was the first time during my pregnancy I've seen the midwife who was in charge of my birth last time, and it was so nice to have some time with her. I adore all of the midwives, but there is a special relationship with the two who were there the first time. Anyway, they checked my vitals: urine, good; blood pressure 120/60 (good, but high for me); listened to Baby's heartbeat (and my midwife introduced herself, I love it when they do that), 150 bpm; took a vial of blood for the last of my blood tests. Spent plenty of time talking about my diet and going over some of the problems I had last time (particularly with breastfeeding) to make sure that the communication lines are open and to head off any issues this time around.

One of the wonderful things about midwives is that they allow the time, and actually take it, to go over everything. I cannot stress this enough. When I was with an ob last time, the appointments were about ten minutes each, including the time it took the nurse to take my vitals. Not nearly enough time to discuss what's going on, particularly for first-time moms. One of the biggest problems that I see with how pregnancy is treated in this country is that women are so uneducated. Even educated women don't know the half of it. I feel so lucky that my Bradley Method instructor last time was so knowledgeable and knew where to find answers. She also gave me the courage to finally leave my ob practice and switch to midwives. So let me add another plug for the Bradley Method as well. And one last thought: I think the best sources of information about childbirth are from women who have experienced it, and witnessed many, but who don't have an agenda. Doulas are excellent for this, which gives me tomorrow's topic.

First (happy) Pregnancy Dream

Last night I had an amazingly realistic dream about delivering my baby. It was during the day, my water broke at a trickle and I had my toddler with me. He played in his room, I called my husband, our friend who is going to attend, and my midwife. I drew a bath for a water birth and got in. In my dream I had one massive contraction and then I felt the head. My midwife arrived just in time to deliver my daughter. The whole thing was less than an hour (and was way cleaner than I could ever hope it could be). It was a FANTASTIC dream. The only thing wrong was that my husband couldn't make it home in time.

To analyze the dream: My son's labor and delivery took about four hours, so there's a good possibility that #2 could pop out even faster. My biggest fear is that it will happen during the day and nobody will be able to get here in time. I really don't want my less-than-two-year-old being the only one who assists. We only have one car and my husband takes public transportation to work, so him getting home to me could be an issue. Fortunately, our friend who will attend works in the same building as he does, so they could always take a cab to her place (ten minutes) and then she could drive him. I'm really hoping that he'll be able to work from home the last week or two before I deliver, but that assumes I'll be close to the due date, and I'm quite happy to be a little early. With my first child, my husband was a twelve minute cab ride from my office and the birth center was fifteen minutes from there, so it was less of an issue if I had a daytime labor (which, by the way, is not usual, particularly for a first birth). The second part of that is worry about the midwife making it in time. I will be having several discussions about that beforehand since I barely made it to the Birth Center last time.

Overall, I'm pretty confidant with how labor will turn out. It helps that I had one easy one already, and I try to keep worries at bay. But since all of my previous pregnancy dreams had been about miscarriage, it's nice to finally have a good one. Weird dreams are normal during pregnancy, I just hope they continue along this vein from now on.

Socializing with Baby

Since I've already talked about issues with pregnancy, I thought I'd move on to issues afterward. As we've been having these issues: namely that most of our friends are still single and childless. Both my husband and I really make an effort (as I previously blogged), and we've decided that part of the problem is that people are kind of freaked out by the kid. We talked about this with our friend that hung out yesterday. We met him right before I got pregnant with #1 and as he pointed out, he's pretty much always known us as a married couple with a baby. The majority of our friends were my husband's friends from high school and college and have known him mostly as a single, partying kind of guy. Now that he's married (ie: tied down), the game has changed. Neither one of us were ever stay out late people once we had real jobs, but a lot of our friends are. Strike number one against us. The invitations started slowing down once we bought a house in the 'burbs. Then they pretty much stopped after #1 was born. We're kind of at a loss at this point as to what to do. Yes, socializing has to be more on our terms, which is why we throw so many parties. But it's still not working. Hmm, I guess this post is becoming a bit of a vent. My point is more to be aware of where your friends are going, and whether or not you're on the same path. If just so you can address baby issues before it becomes a problem.

And if anyone has any ideas for navagating the waters of single and/or childless frienddom, please, please share!

Ultrasound #2

Sorry about no post last night, we had an unexpected guest and didn't say goodbye until eleven. It's nice having some friends who aren't freaked out by us being parents. Anyway, here, finally, are the pictures from my second ultrasound, from around a month ago. Nothing like staying on top of things, right? Our big ultrasound will be in another couple of weeks, fingers crossed that #2 is cooperative and we can find out the sex!

Eating Local

Continuing from yesterday's post, today's is about actually eating local and giving the finger to big agribusiness. The two best ways to do so are Farmer's Markets (making sure that they're actually local, some allow resale) and Community Sponsored Agriculture (CSA). I'm a huge fan of CSAs and there are enough varieties that you should be able to find one that you like. How most CSAs work are that you enter into a contract with a farm at the beginning of the season (like around now). You pay a certain amount up front and then you own a share of what the farm produces; the produce is then usually delivered to your home or a pick-up site weekly. In bumper years this is fantastic but if there is a drought or flooding, you'll be hurt a bit, too. The great thing is that it allows a farm to be supported regardless and if you're a member for several years, it will even out. One drawback with a CSA is that you don't usually get to choose what food you receive, if there are a ton of tomatoes one week then you get a ton of tomatoes. It is a great way to try new veggies and experiment with your cooking. Some farms let you pick and choose a bit, or order additional produce each week.

What I like best is that I'm guaranteed to have fresh produce and I don't have to think about it (mine is also year-round and delivered to my house). This was particularly great right after my first baby was born. At the very least, we had fresh fruit and veggies even if my husband couldn't get out to the store. Now that my son eats the same things we do, he gets new things to try all of the time. A lot of farms also have open houses at some point during the season so you can go to the farm and meet your producers (unfortunately mine was the weekend my son was born, and then his first birthday, so we haven't done it yet).

Enticed to try yet? Here's a link to find a CSA near you: http://www.localharvest.org/csa/ . The USDA also has information on it's website.

Food, Inc.

Before you read any more of this post, go watch it! Okay, good. It's been sitting in my Netflix queue I think since it came out and I finally got around to watching it last night. If you've read Omnivore's Dilemma and/or Fast Food Nation then there isn't going to be a lot more in it that you don't already know (both authors are interviewed and Pollan was a contributor). What it will show you that a book can't, is what your meat looks like before you eat it. Interestingly, the filmmakers were not allowed to film cattle feed lots (we get a lot of drive-bys and flyovers), pig farmers, or inside chicken "coops". One woman, who had a more humane chicken coop, allowed the camera crew in, and promptly had her contract with Perdue pulled.

What you come away from the film understanding is that industrial agriculture is all-powerful, has people in the highest places (USDA, FDA, Supreme Court [Clarence Thomas, surprised?]) and you, the consumer, are basically without rights. Either the right to know what is actually in your food, or the right for recompensense when things go horribly wrong and you end up with salmonella poisoning from your peanut butter (really, a poultry/reptile disease in legumes??). Scary stuff. Even the organic companies aren't blameless since most of the big ones are now owned by the huge food conglomerates (Dannon owns Stonyfield Farm yogurt, for example, Colgate owns Tom's of Maine). Better than conventional, but still not great.

What is the solution? Of course, the best solution is for us all to have sane jobs that allow for lots of home cooking (including yogurt, bread, etc.) and sourcing the majority of your foods from within reasonable driving distance (100 miles, for example). Eating within the season helps a lot too, even if you're getting your winter oranges from Florida and you live in, say, the Pacific Northwest. (confession, I bought an organic mango from Peru today to share with my son. We've been doing so well on local apples and pears for most of the winter, I needed a taste of summer.) This isn't always possible, but the more people who do it, the better it gets as local farmers suddenly have local clients. More on this tomorrow!