Socializing with Baby

Since I've already talked about issues with pregnancy, I thought I'd move on to issues afterward. As we've been having these issues: namely that most of our friends are still single and childless. Both my husband and I really make an effort (as I previously blogged), and we've decided that part of the problem is that people are kind of freaked out by the kid. We talked about this with our friend that hung out yesterday. We met him right before I got pregnant with #1 and as he pointed out, he's pretty much always known us as a married couple with a baby. The majority of our friends were my husband's friends from high school and college and have known him mostly as a single, partying kind of guy. Now that he's married (ie: tied down), the game has changed. Neither one of us were ever stay out late people once we had real jobs, but a lot of our friends are. Strike number one against us. The invitations started slowing down once we bought a house in the 'burbs. Then they pretty much stopped after #1 was born. We're kind of at a loss at this point as to what to do. Yes, socializing has to be more on our terms, which is why we throw so many parties. But it's still not working. Hmm, I guess this post is becoming a bit of a vent. My point is more to be aware of where your friends are going, and whether or not you're on the same path. If just so you can address baby issues before it becomes a problem.

And if anyone has any ideas for navagating the waters of single and/or childless frienddom, please, please share!

Separate Spouse time

For Valentine's Day, I wrote about the importance of couple time, but just as important before you have a baby is individual time. My husband is really good at giving me girl nights, and I've been getting them on a regular basis since I stopped breastfeeding, but he's not as good about taking guy nights. A big part of this has to do with our friends, my one close female friend around here is extremely accommodating to me, willing to come to my house in the 'burbs and we tend to just go see movies and have dinner or lunch all of the time. She also works a regular schedule and gets off relatively early, so we can meet for a five pm movie and I'll still be home at a decent hour. My husband's friends, not so much. If I tried, I could probably count on one hand the number of times he's gone out since #1 has come along. But this isn't supposed to be a rant on their lameness. My point is, it is really important, especially before the birth of your first child, to go out and just DO stuff. All babies are different, but in general it's going to be a lot harder once one comes around to socialize. And the last thing you or your spouse want to feel is trapped and like you can't have fun anymore. And it doesn't always have to be going out, having people over is good, too (although much, much easier to continue once the bambino pops out). Or, if either of you is into video games, on-line gaming with friends. This is our big plan for tonight. We have a lot of friends around the country and one thing that the guys can do is play XBOX live together (plus one of our fabulous friends got us the video cam for it so we can live chat, too). It's not quite the same as going out for drinks with the guys, but at least he can do it with a sleeping baby upstairs.